You Are Strong!

Your kid is strong. 

Yes, “that” kid. With all the conditions, diagnoses, and angst. They are strong. And capable! When did we stop delivering that message? It’s the job of all caregivers to help our kids comprehend their potential, and the possibilities that exist in spite of every challenge.  

Today it sometimes seems like every kid who struggles is given a diagnosis for their behavior. These kids begin to buy into failure, lose their will to fight and their reason to push when it’s tough. They simply repeat what adults have told them: “ You CAN’T because you are {insert condition or circumstance here}.” A diagnosis should not excuse any negative behavior (or, sadly, even encourage it in some cases), it should simply inform about the behavior, which should then allow a kid to chart a path to success with a full understanding of what tools are available to help them achieve whatever they set out to do in their lives.  

“I think, therefore I am…”

For the last 6 years The Good Fight has worked with and for “those” kids. It’s been our observation that the biggest difference between kids who see successful outcomes and the ones who struggle mostly has to do with mindset. 

What do we tag our kids with, that they project out?                      

“You’re bullied…”

“You have ADHD”

“You’re poor”  

“You’re Black and discriminated against”

“You have trauma…”

What a person says and believes about themselves generally dictates how things will go for them. 

I am not saying that illnesses, systemic injustice and mental health needs are not real or valid, because they are, but for a lot of kids it becomes a means of acceptance or, as a colleague of mine called it, a sort of “Social Currency”. At the Good Fight we teach our kids they have worth. No excuses, just results. Believe in and cultivate your best asset: yourself. Your condition is NOT your life. You can succeed in spite of- or choose to fail because of. 

I once had a friend who dated “above his pay grade”, so to speak. I asked him how. He looked at me dumbfounded and responded, “Dude, I’m kind of a big deal…” That stuck with me. “I’m kind of a big deal.” He wasn’t particularly tall, handsome, or noteworthy, he simply believed he had worth- and that was what he projected to the rest of the world too.

My name is Nathaniel Coleman, Jr. I am a high school graduate. A college drop out. I’m divorced. I’ve been homeless, jobless and broke. But, “I’m kind of a big deal.” Today I run a successful non-profit organization for youth. I started it with $60, determination and a dream. Today our yearly budget is about $350,000 and we employ 5 full-time employees and 6 part-time employees. We have served over 800 students in the nearly 7 years we have been around.

 

“Life imitates art”… and boxing

I’m also a boxing fan. Not for the brutal punches, but for the courageous stories of the underdog FINDING A WAY to win. One of my favorite boxers, Sugar Ray Leonard, before his epic upset of Marvin Hagler said, “The reason I will win is because you don’t think I can…” That’s a mindset. A deep belief in self, values, and skills. Did Sugar Ray have other issues? Absolutely. But he was determined to win, and he did.

I remember a young girl (now a young woman) who arrived at the Good Fight as an extremely anxious teen. She was constantly afraid and believed anxiety would control her life. I didn’t, and told her so from our first meeting. I simply suggested that she learn to box. She did… and learned to make friends in spite of what her mind told her. She pushed through because she finally came to believe in her strength more than her challenges. Today, at 20, she is strong. She works a full-time job she loves and is managing her life. Sure, she still has anxiety, but she doesn’t let that stop her from living and it doesn’t consume her life anymore.

Belief is a powerful influencer. So can we just believe again? In the human spirit. In investing in ourselves. Investing in the future… our kids. We invite you to join us in the work of inspiring and equipping an amazing generation of kids who are resilient, capable and strong.

And what can you do? What can you impress upon your child that they can do?

Tell them, “Hey kid, you are strong”.